Meet Me Halfway?

This one time I decided to live my life according to The Black Eyed Peas lyrics. It was actually very life altering. Then one fateful night I went to meet my girlfriend halfway. Turns out that wearing a jacket and slippers whilst skarooning on your razor scooter in the middle of December doesn't keep your knuckles warm. I eventually arrived at the nearby stake center and decided to set up base camp in order to meet her halfway. Then the cold started to get to me and I started to lose my mind. ("You're all dead and you don't even know it!" who said it?) It started very innocently, a few mumbled statements to myself. Then it escalated into a full on conversation with at least a 70% rate of rhyming. (The rhyming doesn't surprise me due to the fact that I once was a rap-off champ) After many minutes of whimsical rambling to myself my girlfriend came to my rescue just in time before I was lost forever. So I say to you... When in doubt, pinky out my friends. Remember that and you shall do well in this giant menstrual cycle called life.

Chicky Cherry Cola

Once upon a time I was having one of those days where things in life make you sick to your stomach whilst at work. For me this is a bad combo due to the fact that when I clean carpets it's like I turn off my brain except for the part that thinks (and that part gets turned on crazy-thinking mode). So there I was thinking a lot about why I felt sick to me stomach and I came up with this wonderful idear. <--- (intentional typo) Solution: vent my thoughts to someone. Dilemma: it was just me and my carpet cleaning machine named Janet. Double Solution: vent through a made up story to myself. Clever? Yes! Crazy? Probably... In my story I was first represented by a prince/knight then by a superhero, but I couldn't think of any legitimately cool/original super powers (the ability to control my bleeding...?) then I was represented by a peasant but I didn't like how that affected my fairy tale so I went back to a prince. I told myself this fairy tale for about an hour and a half. Somewhere in that time I lost my mind (kinda like the time I was reading the Twilight saga... Am I Bella?) Anywho... someday when we're all sitting around the cinders of a campfire I'll relay the fairy tale of Prince Chero. Awesome!

Totally Awesome

So... this is my favorite commercial right now due to the 'ehh...' that the boyfriend does. I hope you enjoy. Slash... I totally don't encourage any kind of alcoholic intake. I prefer to just enjoy the benefits of the funny commercials.

The Rules of Besties

So once upon a time whilst serving my mission in 台灣 my dear companion and mentor Jon Ware shared with me the rules of besties, something that I had assumed I knew much about, but found that I was terribly terribly wrong. I will now try and share with y'all what he shared with me since it has changed the way that I live my life. Firstly, everyone is allowed 4 best friends, 2 boys and 2 girls. They are referred as thus: boy best friend, best boyfriend, girl best friend, and best girlfriend. Now, you may think, "Danny... that doesn't work. I do not have homosexual tendencies." To which my rebuttal is, "Neither do I, but I am still a keeper of the rules of besties and yet I have a best boyfriend." Let me explain how it all works. Boy Best Friend (bbff): This, like it states, is your bestest friend that is a boy. Best Boyfriend (bbfe): (I'm gonna be completely honest... I don't really remember the rule for this one so I'm gonna kinda rewrite it.) This is your boyfriend. If you are a boy yourself than it is a dude friend that would be your boyfriend if you were a pretty girl. Girl Best Friend (gbff): This is your very bestest friend that is a girl. And finally, Best Girlfriend (bgfe): This would be your girlfriend, and is also technically higher on the totem pole of besties than the rest. (Of course, if you are a girl we would be talking about the best boyfriend position.) It should also be taken into account that when you are married the rules of besties, or RoB for short, is tweaked. After marriage, all of the other besties become dissolved so that you only have one, being your spouse. Another rule is that you cannot change your besties while on a mission or in space due to the time of separation from your besties thus making you unfit to change your state of relationship, but because of this there is an amendment to the rules of besties. It is the reserve best friend. The Reserve Best Friend (rbff): While away on a mission or away in space as an astronaut you may strike up a friendship with a companion (or a monkey in a spacesuit) and you may feel inclined to claim them as your boy best friend (assuming the monkey is a boy), but as stated earlier, this is illegal in the rules of besties. So in this situation you can claim them as your 'reserve best friend' until you come back and are able to make a clear headed decision as to your new list of besties. I feel very proud to have been a helping hand in your education of the rules of besties. I now wish you good luck in your endeavors of figuring out where the peeps in your posse stand.

Some New Vocab Words

In the Baer family we gots some of our own words to describe the awesomeness of life. With it being the Christmas season I feel the need to define two of those to help y'all understand what the crap is going on. The first, 'pinvees' (also pronounced 'pimvees' depending on region) is the secret stuff that you work on for another soul. Example: Today whilst Christmas shopping I bought some great stuff, but I can't tell you cause it's pinvees. The second, 'secret squirrel' is much like unto pinvees. It's actually exactly the same but in my head it's more generalized. Example: I'm working on some secret squirrels for my girlfriend. (Notice, I chose to make it plural due to the secret being worth more than one squirrel) I hope this helps in the reading of my life.

In other news I'd like to give a big welcome/shout out to me sista'. She is the newest follower of Danny's World making her the only follower. Awesome!

The Beginning...

Once upon a time I was riding in the car with me sista' and bestie/bgfe! and I asked them, "What if we lived in a world where we didn't have car, but rode around on deer?" I still don't have the answer, but because of that wonderful thought I've decided to make a place where I can state all my crazy ideas and just be Danny Baer. So with no further ado I welcome you to my little world.

歡迎光臨！