Speak Friend and Enter

As you all know, under my super cool exterior I'm a super huge nerd. In fact, just yesterday my bgfe and I were biking to her house and there was a lull in the conversation. In that 20 seconds of silence I decided that I'd rather be a Wood Elf over a High Elf for the sole fact that Wood Elves probably get to ride on unicorns. But it's my nerd side that's connected to my sensitive side. My nerd side understands how to express my feelings. Today I cried in a movie for the first time since I watched August Rush back in October. I was watching the final chapter to The Lord of the Rings. I love that story! The whole thing hits me on a chord that no one will ever understand. I don't just love it cause I'm a nerd, I love it because it tells my story. So there I was with my girlfriend watching Return of the King and Frodo had just destroyed the ring and returned back to the Shire *spoiler alert* and all of his friends were getting adjusted to life back in the Shire. Frodo, though, was having a more difficult time with the adjustment. He says, "How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold." And that's when the tears started to come. I remember when I came back from living with my grandparents for the summer. I would think of this quote and how it was a perfect description of how I felt. Just like when I got home from my mission or how now that I've moved here to Hawaii that's how I'll feel when I go back home. Life will never quite be the same. But that's ok. That's the price of the journey. The place can never feel the same because I'm not the same. I've been changed. I've grown. I think the hardest part for me is that even when you come to terms that you've changed you can never quite help others understand how you feel. They don't get why life has to be different. The journey caused you to change. The return caused you to be alone.