Bieber Fever

For my story today I need to give background on two things... First, a girl at work showed me a new Justin Bieber wannabe named Cody Simpson (he looks 11 and has awkward blonde hair). The song was called YiYiYi or something like that and featured FlowRida or whatever his name is (kinda like Baby featuring my Luda, except not as awesome). Secondly, I read on imdb.com that Justin Bieber is being accused of punching an 11 year old during a game of lazer tag (the game that taught me how to live) whilst in Canada. So during dinner on Sunday my friend Daniel and I (yeah, I know... there's so many of us. I actually proposed to 2 of the other Daniels that we make a club out here at BYUH. But anywho...) were talking about whether or not Bieber is guilty of defending his honor during his lazertag extravaganza and I came up with the following scenario and I think it means he did do it... in a good way.

Basically it came down to Bieber was vs. C. Simpson in lazertag to prove who was legit and who was a fake Australian that almost surfs in his music video. During their scurmish JBiebz came to the realization that the much younger and lankier CSimpz had a distinct advantage in the lazer arena and the following conversation ensued.

Simpson: "You're going down, Bieber!"

Bieber: "Eenie Meanie Miney Mo..."

Simpson: "YiYiYi..."

Ludacris: "LUDA!"

Simpson: "I will swallow you whole Bieber!!!"

Bieber: "Break me till you shake me..."

It was at the that Justin pulled out his secret weapon (his grammys) and clocked Cody Simpson across the face. Now, I'm not ever sure if he has a grammy(s), but I believe that either Luda let him borrow one of his (Luda has one, right?), or an honorary grammy appeared out of thin air due to the hopes and dreams of all of us that have Bieber fever. The moral of the story kids is that Justin Bieber is awesome and his songs should be played repeatedly at all dances and songs that have the sentence, "do the jerk..." should never be played, let alone 5 different variations of those jerky songs being played while I'm at a Dance-a-thon.

Fin.

Ordered Chaos

oh.my.goodness. I'm trying to survive my Accounting video so I figure I'll let me peeps take a look into my crazy that is my mind.

So the things that have been on my mind lately (besides Senor Chang quotes) is about how to bring order out of chaos in my life. That makes my life sound like a mess so let me explain what I mean. Life in Hawaii is awesome and fun and fantastic, but Hawaii has this magical superpower where time is totally messed up. Thus, for a person like me that likes to procrastinate and not make goals you kinda start floating around trying to accomplish what you can, but never fully reaching your potential because you're doing just that... floating around. So the other day I finally did what I'd been wanting to do for a long time (turns out having a goal to set goals never really happens just like the rest of your goals). I set goals in the major sections of my life right now such as 1) spiritual 2) financial 3) exercise and 4) Chinese. If you were my dad you'd be asking where my dating goal is, but that one's still in the making. But basically what I'm saying that as I've set some goals in my life I feel like I'm no longer floating around, but that I've got my feet on the ground. I've got a purpose. It feels awesome. It's reminded me about a lot of things that I knew before, but just chose to ignore. Essentially, to sum up what I'm feeling I'd have to say, "Boo-yah!"

For Rissi Pooh!!!

I was chillin' Hawaii about to take a nap listening to music from the good ol' days (Sugar Ray) and I just realized that the Goo Goo Dolls and early 2000's music is proof that God loves us. I'd like to dedicate these songs to my sista' Ris and let her know that these songs remind me of when I used to sneak into her room and listen to her music.

Goo Goo Dolls? Yes, please!

Daddy issues anyone?

Some more GooGD (pronounced gewj)

So... Ris when times when dark and nasty take a little walk down memory lane with the GooGD. Love you!

Mom, you're cheesing me off so bad right now!

So I was thinking about the awesome english muffin breakfast sandwiches I just ate in the caf out here in Hawaii and I started focusing my thoughts on the cheese cause it's evil cheese. It's super sticky and it just gets everywhere. There is no stopping that cheese from getting into your hair. Anywho... that got me thinking of how it would be crazy and all "Fringe" like if it got my mouth stuck together. Then I started thinking about Pizza the Hut from Spaceballs, which obviously led me to the Leaning Tower of Cheesa from "A Goofy Movie." Dang! It actually got me somewhere meaningful but now I can't recollect where it got me. Whoops. Needless to say, beware of the cheese!

To the school please...

Dan Fact #27...

I would rather eat a chicken foot over a chimichanga. For one, chicken feet are pretty good. For two, me and chimichangas are bitter enemies that always end with explosions. You're welcome.

Go Banana!

I'd pretend like I have a purpose behind me typing right now, but to be honest I've got nothing. I've been re-watching season 1 of Fringe with my girlfriend cause she's never experienced the awesomeness that is Olivia Dunnem and Peter Bishop. Honestly, it's my second favorite show. (X-Files is essentially impossible to top.) Watching it kinda makes me want to be an FBI agent, which in turn makes me want to be a Naxy SEAL, which in turn makes me want to be able to breath under water and be really sneaky, which makes me want to be a mutant, which makes me wonder when the next X-Men movie is coming out, which makes me remember playing with my sweet Batman toys as a kid, which reminds me of living in California, which reminds me that I've always wanted to learn to surf, which reminds me of these YouTube videos I saw, which make me want to learn Japanese, which reminds me there's a free Japanese class tonight, which reminds me that I'm attending the most kickin' awesome university in the world!

Welcome to the world of Danny Baer's thoughts.

Gotta Love the Erhu Baby!

We'll pretend that this is back by popular demand. Here's another look into my Mandarin mind... this time you get a translation, although it doesn't make much sense.

If You Listen to the Rhythm of the Pouring Rain

I know you don't understand what he's saying, but it doesn't mean it's not one of the best songs ever! Whenever I hear it, it reminds me 中和 (zhonghe) and laying in my bed with my feet sticking out of the end of my blanket so the fan could keep them cool and listening to the rain outside my window. They say "home is where the heart is." Well my heart was left in Taiwan.

Enjoy!

Here's How It Goes...

I was watching a great cinema spectacle last night, but had to leave my girlfriend's house before I got to see the last 12 minutes. So now I have no idea if Cody Banks made it out of the mummy from The Mummy's hands and on to the helicopter before the secret mountain lair blows up. I'm usually pretty hopeful, but I just don't see how it's gonna happen. Unless those nanobytes eat the underwear off of the mummy or any other zany comical situation. Needless to say, it was a struggle to fall asleep last night.

In other news... today is national "Escape" day. So... remember... you can run, you can hide, but you can't escpape my love, my love, my love..."

Chimi-chang-GE!!!

Welp, I just finished my Pearl of Great Price paper, which has been the cause of a ridiculous amount of stress (I haven't written a decent paper ever in my life, and the crappy ones were about 5 years ago). Now I just have to write a rough draft for my English Research Paper and then basically life is all sunny and awesome till forever.

I'll be pretty stoked to be done with these papers. To be honest I wouldn't mind if the semester went for many more months. I really enjoy learning and having not done real school since basically 2004 I just can't get enough. But with these papers looming over my head I'm dropping the ball on a lot of things and not being my normal self. I feel like Frodo when he has the weight of the ring (hopefully I'll be able to cast it into Mount Doom and I won't try and keep it for myself.)

I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'm not being myself. I don't seem to be as optimistic as I used to be. I don't think my presence makes people laugh like it did back in the day. I wonder what that's all about.

I just wrote a butt-load of stuff and decided it was lame and didn't make sense so I erased it. Lame... I'm getting all nostalgic so I'm gonna end this one. Latez!

Speak Friend and Enter

As you all know, under my super cool exterior I'm a super huge nerd. In fact, just yesterday my bgfe and I were biking to her house and there was a lull in the conversation. In that 20 seconds of silence I decided that I'd rather be a Wood Elf over a High Elf for the sole fact that Wood Elves probably get to ride on unicorns. But it's my nerd side that's connected to my sensitive side. My nerd side understands how to express my feelings. Today I cried in a movie for the first time since I watched August Rush back in October. I was watching the final chapter to The Lord of the Rings. I love that story! The whole thing hits me on a chord that no one will ever understand. I don't just love it cause I'm a nerd, I love it because it tells my story. So there I was with my girlfriend watching Return of the King and Frodo had just destroyed the ring and returned back to the Shire *spoiler alert* and all of his friends were getting adjusted to life back in the Shire. Frodo, though, was having a more difficult time with the adjustment. He says, "How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on... when in your heart you begin to understand... there is no going back? There are somethings that time cannot mend... some hurts that go too deep... that have taken hold." And that's when the tears started to come. I remember when I came back from living with my grandparents for the summer. I would think of this quote and how it was a perfect description of how I felt. Just like when I got home from my mission or how now that I've moved here to Hawaii that's how I'll feel when I go back home. Life will never quite be the same. But that's ok. That's the price of the journey. The place can never feel the same because I'm not the same. I've been changed. I've grown. I think the hardest part for me is that even when you come to terms that you've changed you can never quite help others understand how you feel. They don't get why life has to be different. The journey caused you to change. The return caused you to be alone.

Totes M' Gotes!

Just a little quickie for all you peeps out there. I decided when I get 10 followers I'm gonna have a pizza party. So if you want to join make sure you're near me when the destined #10 starts following my crazy.

MDN is not my BMT

I'm supposed to be writing a paper for my English class, but for the life of me I can't think of a dang thesis statement to form my ideas around. Is it sad that that's the hardest part for me, but for the foreignors in my class that part is way easier than actually writing the paper? I wish I was a super-human... or a mutant... or a super-mutant-human. I remember on my mission we were told to think of the best super power before attending a zone conference. I don't really remember what mine was, but if I was asked to do that today I would have to say that the most desirable super power for me right now is to be able to control my breathing... that and to have the power to have well trimmed toenails all of the time. Also, I believe that like CDR said we should "have absolute faith in God or Heaven or whatever other terminology one may use. Do as much as you can, and leave the rest to God/Allah/Nature." I don't think I could say it any better than CDR

Zefron vs. ShiBeouf

So yesterday my girlfriend and I had just eaten some TacoBell to our hearts content and we were walking around thinking of what to do. We stumbled upon the movie theatre and saw that Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief was playing so we decided to give it a gander. It felt like I was watching Harry Potter 1 starring Zefron. The movie was decent, but I feel like if I stick around till number 3 or 4 then I'll really be getting my money's worth. Slash... I feel like Percy Jackson is a second class Zefron, but my bgfe thinks that he's a second class Shia LeBeouf. So he's pretty likable, but likable in a "I could've watched Ryan Reynolds but I'm stuck with Dane Cook instead" kind of way.

On a different note... welcome to my new follower Crystal. My only follower that I've flexed and pumped in one day.

Update!

Dream Korean with the flowing mane is called Jay.

Monkey Pox!

So I don't really have any awesome stories that have happened in the past 24 hours, but since it's my little world I feel like posting anyway. My awesome girlfriend/bgfe hears me tell stories about my mission a plethera of times a day, but no one will quite understand how much I loved my mission. And for the past few days I've missed it like a billion times more than I usually do. I'll just sit and think of the good times I had in 雙和，新莊，桃園，and 木柵。 Anywho... I miss it like crazy and I had an idea today of how awesome it would be if I when I fell asleep instead of having dreams I'd live in an alternate world and that world was my mission in Taiwan. That would be 太好了！

My Dream Man

So... turns out Me + Blog ='s a lot of disappointment cause I'm not very good at keeping up at it, but I'm in Hawaii so I'm sorry.

Anywho... something happened to me weeks ago and it was pretty much the most epic thing ever. I, therefore, am going to share a little piece of heaven with you.

It was some time in the evening and I needed to use the bathroom. So I ventured from my dorm to the bathroom that joins my hall and the neighboring hall together. As I enter the bathroom I hear what sounds like a hair dryer being blown. I don't think much of it, but as I am leaving the toilet area and turning around towards the sinks I am struck by the greatest sight I have ever beheld. I see a naked Korean man (well... he was wearing underwear) blow drying his flowing mane of hair whilst wearing red klogs. I almost wet myself from joy. Luckily, he's in my math class so every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I am reminded of our beautiful moment together. Awesome.

Stephen Spielberg... where are you?

The other day I was with my bgfe! and Erin (my new/awesome friend that laughs at the retarded comments that come out of my face) and I made the greatest observation ever. What happened was I looked out the window at the Hawaiian jungle that is my home and saw saw a fence with a "No Trespassing" sign and had this wonderful thought cloud all my senses. Imagine with me, if you will, me and my crazy friends all hyper after surfing at the beach come across this fence that says we shouldn't cross, but being the shirtless studs that we are we ignore it and hop the fence. But as we hop the fence the camera that is always following me focuses in the "No Trespassing" sign. And at first it's all fun and games as we run around in the jungle, but our fun is put to a halt when we realize that Zac isn't with us anymore. Suddenly we realize how dark and quiet the jungle is. It's almost eery. As we begin to nervously joke amongst ourselves a giant triceratops comes crashing through the trees and mauls almost all of us to death. Me being the main character, is lucky to escape and goes screaming and crying further into the jungle and finds safety in the hollow of a tree where I spend the next night wide awake full of fear of the terrifying dinosaur.

That story is completely true except for the part about dinosaurs, but now you have a sense of my new home. It's crazy and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get eaten by a Triassic creature.

Pre-Yuletide Greetings

Basically, hooray for the fact that I'm leaving on a jet plane in 12 hours for the beautiful land of Hawaii. Next Christmas you can expect a Christmas card of me wearing an unbuttoned aloha shirt climbing a coconut tree whilst drinking out of a coconut with a mini umbrella sticking out of it and my surf board stuck in the sand with a dolphin jumping out of the water over my surf board. I'll throw some Christmas lights up somewhere to make it look seasonal. Oh, and since I'm from Utah I'll be wearing some puka shells. You.are.welcome.!.